Monday, March 30, 2009
It was interesting for me to see that my issues with religion are still coming up in the group settings. It came up for me on many occasions in my other group experiences. I was thinking about it a lot over the rest of Monday night and throughout the day on Tuesday. I think what comes up for me is that I’ve never been able to fit that cookie cutter LDS stereotype that is somewhat encouraged in the LDS society. As a teenager, I felt like I made some great decisions and that I would be “blessed” for following the doctrine I bought into. When I feel triggered in a group setting about religion, it often comes up for me when I sense negative energy towards my beliefs. What I think I need in regards to religious views is mutual respect for my choices to believe in the LDS church. I feel disrespected and labeled when people slam the church. I can think to myself, “How do I know if they are really being negative towards the church?” I’m putting my perspective on what they’re thinking. I guess I really wanted to believe that I could be that cookie cutter LDS woman, but through life experience I’ve been awaken to reality and that sometimes that stereotype absolutely doesn’t fit. I’m just not sure why I choose to personalize when people bring up religion? It’s possible that I’m playing out my inner sentence when I feel triggered during group about that subject.
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